I have to make this quick since I'm suppose to be working

So, I've moved into a new flat (yay!) where I was suppose to have internet, but things got a little complicated so right now I'm waiting for my aDSL provider to set up a new connection which might take up to a month!

I already have 84 messages and 119 deviations to go through, and there's no way I can do all that while at work (I don't want to get my arse laid off for slacking off ). I promise to make up for it as soon as I get internet access at home. And thank you for all the faves and comments

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Yes, I'm over the 5,000 milestone (ehm, kilometre-stone, since I'm European ). Unfortunately, I almost didn't notice since I'm working a full-time job and moving into a new flat which is almost completely empty. I haven't gotten the hang of the new situation yet, so things are rather hectic.

But enough about my modest ass. Huggy-wuggies for all u nice peoplez on teh internetz 4 the 5k hits!!!


Anyway, it's tradition to have some kiriban crap when hitting a round number, but I'm currently without a drawing computer. Sooo, not to come of as some kind of tradition breaker, if you have a request, leave it in a comment to this journal and you'll get a pencil sketch. It will be gift-art, so you are allowed to trace it, modify it, staple it to your forehead or leave it at a shady street corner to turn tricks (this means you can use it commercially). I don't know if anybody's interested in this sort of things, but there you go. You can read a few guidelines at the end of the journal *

Yeah, I know you're not really interested - you just want the funny video clip!

HERE, HERE, HAVE YOUR SMELLY VIDEO CLIP!!1!1!!!

www. youtube .com/watch?v= pYmipFDxMl8
_{(sorry, but dA is retarded and keeps interpreting "= p" as so I had to split the link - just remove the spaces from the url to see the video)}

Just don't tell me Germans ain't funny

*_{I hope to do at least 5 requests. I'll try to do more, but I can't make promises. They should be finished within 3 months. All requests must follow dA policies regarding content and don't ask for something derogatory or vulgar like rape, 'cause I won't draw it. Also, my gallery can give you a feel for my skill level - please don't expect me to turn into Michaelangelo overnight when it comes to your request. It'd be nice if you could mention me in the description of the derivative work, but I won't hunt you down if you don't.}

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OK, first you have to watch this -> [link]
_{you can also see a higher quality version here [link] but without the subtitles}

Now when you've managed to get this through your head, let us discuss what we just saw (and cannot un-see).

In the west, bowel movement is considered to be something natural, and maybe just a bit inconvenient. In Japan, bowel movement is a rather rare occasion and cause for much rejoicing. That would explain why the little nipper is so confused by the unknown exploding sensation in his bum.

Relieving yourself is much more complicated in Japan. After your toilet gives you detailed instructions ("stop, drop and roll" is probably not the way to go here), your parents must then perform a Japanese version of exorcism (which is just like regular exorcism, only with more cute animals and karaoke) invoking the waste products to leave the body of a small child. Or maybe they're just doing it for encouragement, I dunno. But then they should go for something more inspirational like "Eye of the tiger" (also appropriate 'cause they're tigers). That will have your lil' tyke pooping like a champ! Maybe they should also throw in a training montage?

If anything, this video casts a shadow of doubt on the whole "over-demanding Japanese parents" stereotype. Remember how you tried to impress your western parents with good grades and sport results, hoping they might actually notice you next to the new Italian designer leather couch? Well parents in Japan throw you a celebration every time you manage to not shit your pants!!! Is that awesome or what!? In all fairness, your parents probably never required you to be good at something just so you could be allowed to wear pants. But being a minor and waking bare-bummed through Japan is probably nothing potentially hazardous.

Also, I'm not sure how wise it is to market potty-time as something fun to your children. Beacause kids like fun things - they might switch to a diet of curry and prunes so they can attend all the loo parties just like the cool kids.

_{Yes, I'm aware Japanese culture is different and that this text is full of cultural stereotypes and yadda-yadda-yadda. That's what makes it funny, you tit.}

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You've probably noticed there hasn't been much (drawing) activity from me lately. Unfortunately I'm still trying to find a full-time job, and between my part time paper-sorting job and daily activities I just lack time and physical and mental energy to draw. Also, I need to take a journey in self-exploration to discover deeper emotions that should be expressed through my art. This will probably involve herbal tea, listening to Enya music and other new-age crap. XD

But seriously, drawing has me bored stiff. It's like spending time with old people, minus the fossilised candy. Why aren't there any self-help books on this subject? All they ever seem to publish are numerous versions of "How to spice up your sex life and reignite the old flame". Well FY, not all problems can be solved with a sensual neck massage.

Anyways, I'm going to cut this journal short because my inspiration just mumbled something about having a headache, rolled over and fell asleep.

BTW, WTF IS THIS SHIT: [link]

Thank you, Japan, for tentacle-raping my childhood memories.

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The Internet. A vast gathering space for people of all ages and various life views. It's easy to get lost once you become a part of it. The same goes for deviantArt.

Ok, enough with the oh-so-epic intro. What I mean to talk (write) about today is being a n00b on dA (I think it's appropriate since I've been here for a whole year . It takes some time to get to know all the rules and inner workings of this place. I shall now share my n00b story, and you are free to share yours in the comments section.

You see, when I first joined dA, I was the so called hope-springs-eternal n00b. No matter how bad an OC concept or a story was, I always believed it could be turned into something good and entertaining. Great story with boring characters? Not to worry, I'm sure it'll get better! An original character which makes the "original" part seem like irony? No problem, just fix a few things and it'll be perfect! In all fairness, I mostly gave support and constructive comments to teenagers who did have writing talent, but cluttered their stories with emo outbursts and song lyrics (the kind of stuff you'll probably grow out off by the time you hit 18). And after all, we can't start creating art only when our skills are polished to perfection.

But sometimes you just have to realise that some things are BAD and that isn't going to change. Yes, most of the people I supported did rewrite their stories. After reading "Twilight". Which means they probably took out everything that was good about the story and replaced it with an abusive undead emo boyfriend.
Yes, exactly.

The only thing sadder than complete failure is wasted potential. That's why "Transformers: revenge of the fallen" sucking was a much bigger disappointment then "Twilight the movie" sucking.

It's not like the "Twilight" people could do much - even if they had written an Academy award winning script, the whole thing goes south the moment sparkling vampires come prancing in. You think "the Godfather" would have won all those Oscars if Michael Corleone was a sparkling mafioso? I think not.

But "Transformers 1" was such a fun film. I mean, you can't go wrong with this concept - it's giant robots! The only thing people expect from this film is to not be completely retarded. Yet Michael Bay took everything good from the first film and replaced it with pointless explosions and robot scrotum (oh, how I wish I was kidding). And two terribly annoying gangsta robots. I'm still pissed off those fuckers did not die. I'll probably be seeing them in the sequel (and in my nightmares).

So to sum up, I f-ing hate Lady Gaga. Her songs are terrible. And she's annoying. And if Boy George shagged Victoria Beckham, the offspring would still dress less retarded than Gaga.

Yap, when it comes to electro-pop, La Roux is my gal.

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